Tag Archives: beliefs

My Election Reflection


This is not going to be my most popular post.

Like most things I write about, I expect some people will totally get where I’m coming from, while others won’t get me at all. That’s one of the beautiful things about life–we’re not all cut from the same cloth. How terribly boring and stagnant it would be if we were.

I once wrote that this never was nor will be a blog about politics. I hope you’ll forgive me for making an exception during this tumultuous time.

For well over a year, I’ve followed the course of events that led up to this most recent presidential election. I watched the debates, read countless articles and took in the some of the sound bytes shared on television and social media. My family, friends and I discussed our thoughts, beliefs and reactions when it came to the various candidates. I voted in my party’s primary. And I voted in the general election, as I have done every year since I turned eighteen.

My candidate for president lost. Actually, she was my second choice. She might have even fallen to third or fourth place if any of the parties had put up more candidates worth considering.

But it’s hardly the first time I’ve voted for the losing candidate. Hell, my presidential choices have lost more elections than won, which makes me think, maybe it’s me, maybe I jinx them. But whatever, I digress.

My vote was primarily based on the positivity, and on what I believed to be the more down to earth and inclusive platform, of one candidate, versus what I saw as the childish, petty, mean-spirited–sometimes even vicious–and uninformed positions voiced by the other candidate. I voted with both my head and my heart. And I voted for the person I thought would be the better leader for all of us, not just me personally.

So my candidate lost, and frankly, I’m not happy about it (OK, that’s an understatement). Like anyone who feels justified in her beliefs and feelings, and like anyone who has suffered a loss, I need a little time to process and heal.

But I’m not being given that time. My Facebook newsfeed is filled with gloating posts (ha ha, go ahead and move to Canada, see if we care) and lectures on how “the nation has spoken” and how I need to grow up, unite and sing kumbaya for the president-elect–the very man who has spent nearly a year and a half pitting us against one another.

I’m just not prepared to do that just yet. And, depending on what he does going forward, I may never get behind him.

That is my choice and my right as an American.

Look, for eight years I’ve watched, read and listened to hate-filled, anti-Obama rhetoric, including the place of birth falsehoods repeatedly voiced by our current president-elect. Their hostility, animosity and loathing bothered me, but frankly the Obama-haters were entitled to their opinion, and I am a firm believer in our First Amendment right of freedom of speech. Never once did I even anonymously jump into one of those online discussions and tell them to shut the f**k up. I just took the high road and didn’t engage with them.

Why can’t I, and the rest of the pro-Hillary and/or anti-Trump voters, be afforded the same leeway?

No, we’re being told that election protesters should be jailed (which, for those who are destroying property or engaging in physical violence, I would agree) and that we need to get over it or be viewed as unpatriotic (as if the vile name calling and rants done during the Obama administration was patriotic?). We are being told to put our rights on hold for at least the next four years.

Not only am I not prepared to do that, I refuse.

Sure, I am terribly unhappy with the candidate who won this election. I have been repulsed by his foul attitude towards women, his intolerance towards non-Caucasians, his mockery of those with physical challenges, and his flippant references promoting violence to those who didn’t agree with him throughout his campaign. I am actually embarrassed that he won.

But I’m not going to pin blanket, puerile labels on our president-elect either. And I’m not going to engage in pointless discussions where ideals and facts dissolve into hostile accusations and derisive put downs.

Just don’t count on me to simply fall in line with where this administration might lead us. Or tell me that my only other alternative is to move to Toronto, Vancouver, Montreal or Mexico City. While you won’t find me standing in the streets shouting slogans, you also won’t find me passively accepting policy decisions that go against my values.  

Like I said in the beginning, it’s a beautiful thing that we’re not all cut from the same cloth. I simply won’t stand for policies that will rip us apart, either.

An “Angel Numbers” Game

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My sister sometimes calls me, with humor and affection, a weirdo–and, well, compared to her I sort of am. She’s the black and white sister, the one who looks for common sense in all things, the down to earth one.

Me, not so much.

I’m gray, and I’m not talking about what my hair color would be without the dye jobs I get every ten weeks. I have thoughts, ideas, questions and beliefs that I find difficult to articulate, not only to my black and white sister, but to most people I know. I think that’s why I like the Internet so much; I can Google these thoughts, ideas, etc. and always find people who share the same ones, or who provide me with new insights on them. Kindred spirits are always just a few keyboard clicks away.

I also think that’s why I took to writing when I was younger. It was definitely why I took to keeping journals; I probably have a couple dozen or more totally filled journals that capture decades of the musings that I’ve had a difficult time sharing aloud.

For example, I get a kick out of numerology. It’s not anything I’ve studied in depth, but I find reading about it interesting, and tend to believe numbers can tell us things or provide us with clues about our lives.

Take the number three. It’s been my favorite (lucky) number for as long as I can remember. I love that my name–Mary Anne Hahn–is comprised of three names of equal length, and that it’s twelve letters long (when you add the numbers in twelve together, 1+2 = 3). Add the numbers from my date of birth together, 4+2+3+1+9+5+6, and they equal 30–or 3+0=3. The street numbers of many the places I’ve lived, including where I live now (2+7+3) boil down to three.

Coincidence? I think not, although I can hear my sister saying, “Weirdo.”

One can find tons of websites brimming with similar, sometimes sinister, numeric “coincidences.” But even before I got online, I remember reading in the newspaper about how a numerologist pointed out that the numbers in the date that Nicole Simpson was murdered, June 12, 1994 (6+1+2+1+9+9+4), add up to 32–O.J. Simpson’s professional football jersey number.

This pertinent info couldn’t be used in court, but it makes one wonder, yes?

And even before that, I remember hearing about the numeric similarities between facts surrounding the assassinations of Abraham Lincoln and John F. Kennedy. Fascinating stuff.

So naturally, I figured that there just had to be a reason why, on a regular and sometimes daily basis, I see my partner John’s birthday, October 18. Usually, it’s when I glance at a clock: 10:18. But sometimes it’s the total on a cash register receipt, or the time stamp on an email at work. Last weekend, at the marina, it was the birthday of one of the customers I sold a fishing license to.

So to Google I go, typing “meaning of seeing someone’s birthday” in the guru’s search box, Admittedly, I expected to find that John and I have some sort of cosmic connection, that we were meant to be in each other’s lives, and yada, yada, yada.

But instead I learned that the ten-eighteen phenomenon had nothing to do with John. It had to do with me.

I discovered that numbers seen repeatedly are referred to as “angel numbers.”  For those who believe in such things, angels use these repeated numbers to get our attention–to get a message to us. Although raised Catholic, I can’t say I completely buy into the concept (or reality) of angels, but I really like the messages that the numbers 10 and 18 supposedly mean:

Angel Number 10 encourages you to move forward in your life with faith and trust that you are on the right path in all ways…Have faith that your inner-urgings are leading you in the right direction and you will find future success and fulfillment on your chosen path…Angel Number 10 brings a message to step forward in new directions and look to new beginnings with an optimistic and positive attitude as they will prove to be auspicious and beneficial to you in many ways, now and in the future.”

Angel Number 18 …[asks] you to think only positive thoughts to do with prosperity and abundance. When you have high expectations and maintain a positive attitude, the angels and Universal Energies help you to manifest your highest ideals and achieve success in all that you put your intentions and efforts towards.”

I can deal with success, fulfillment, prosperity and abundance, right? Plus I like the part about being on the right path; I’m becoming more and more sure of where I want to take this blog in particular and my writing in general, so it’s nice to get a little encouragement from beings I’m not entirely sure I believe in.

If you too tend to see certain numbers on a daily basis, I invite you to check out this site. Let me know if you like what you find there.

And if you believe what you find, I won’t tell my sister. 🙂